‘Whether he ever knew he got the workers he deserved, remains a mystery. Whether he ever knew I deleted almost all his subscribers by accident is another.’

‘Its dim, dank interior soon revealed that its few users were either desperate, drunk or recently injected – the detritus that slipped beneath the radar of a ‘respectable’ Home Counties town.’

'We were stuck in the blackest of black comedies. Less funny ha-ha, more funny deep psychological damage.’

‘Aside from a drink problem, I discovered I had trenchfoot, yellow fever and tennis elbow.’